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Driven to Drink

What drives you to drink?  Or, if you don’t drink, what drives you to emotional places in which you need to suppress the desire to curse, to scream, to snatch a person’s phone from their hands and throw it vehemently across a room?  Or, if you are feeling quite calm, have internal homeostasis…what drives you put in an extra 5k run, a second 45 minute spin class, yoga, or a hot cup of herbal tea with pan flute arrangements playing in the background of a candle-filled, incense-fogged room?  What makes you want to bury your head under the covers, ball up in a fetal position, and pray for a reset?  But really, what drives you to drink? For me, it’s a multitude of things.  For me, the accumulation of rigid and often inconceivable pet peeves (…losing a momentarily favorite pen can usurp most of my attention, throw me into a sympathetic nervous system sweat, and ultimately cause me to rear-end the elderly person ahead of me cautiously rolling through a four-way stop sign…) amounts to an actual mountain consisting of hundreds of insignificant molehills.  But my brain is a catastrophizer, much like the emotional stability of a 12 year old girl attempting to move through a pre-pubescence full of consecutive emergencies. But then, there is also larger stuff, important stuff, professional and global stuff…behaviors and systems and interactions that I see and experience that also drive me to drink.  I want to explore these larger, more important topics as well.  The actual mountains…not the ones created by my anxious, judgmental, worrisome, self-doubtful, slightly obsessive and compulsive brain.  And we will venture there.  I’d love to engage in real dialogue, over drinks, treading lightly enough that we can experience laughter, perhaps tears, and where we can be entirely honest without worrying about offending or saying the “wrong thing.”  The goal is honesty.  The goal is truth.  We’ll see how that works out.
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Sep 30, 2017

What started as an intro became a half-hour soul search.

If you know me and you have the time, I would appreciate it if you listened to this.

It’s just me. 

But it’s for you. 

I promise.  It’s specifically for you. 

And if you need or want me to be even more specific after you’ve listened, just call my name and I’ll be there.

I love you.

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